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11 Tips to Improve Husband and Wife Relationship

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The husband and wife relationship is always evolving. When you find yourself seeking for ways to improve your relationship, you know that you are on the right path.

Marriage is not a perfect relationship, but rather a perfect combination of two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together. If you fail at times in your marriage, it is okay. It is not how many times you fall, but how many times you stand up and fix your relationship that matters.

If you want to get ahead as early as you can, you will find these tips very useful to enhance and develop your connection:

Be Affectionate with Your Spouse.

One way to improve the husband and wife relationship is by being affectionate with one another. You need to be physically intimate with your spouse in order to have a lasting relationship.

How can touch be an indication of a good marriage? It is because one of the needs of every individual is physical affection. Popular psychologist Henry Murray established two types of needs: primary and secondary. Primary needs are those needed for basic survival, like oxygen, water, and food. Secondary needs include nurture, achievement, and independence.

Nurturing is very important. The husband and the wife should each take turns into showing care for each other—and being physically affectionate is one way to do it.

What are the ways that you can be affectionate with your spouse? You can hold his or her hand when you walk outside the park or while you ride in your car. You can also give a massage to soothe aching muscles. A hug and an embrace also go a long way.

Kiss When You Have the Chance.

Some couples love to kiss in public, while others want to keep their intimacies private. No matter which side you are an advocate of, kissing should be done as frequently as possible. I am not talking about the typical smack in the lips or cheek. I mean the sensual kiss, wherein sparks and electricity fly.

Kissing intimately is not done by everyone. You only do it with your husband or wife. It is a specific act that you can do to show your emotions to each other. With frequent kissing, you are reassuring each other of the love that you have for one another.

If you are going out of the house for work, kiss your husband or wife. If you are just running errands, kiss your spouse. Just find any reason to leave the room so that you can kiss your beloved.

Shower Together.

Another way to stay connected to one another without having sex is showering together. And it is also fun. You should at least try it once to know the feeling. You can rub each other’s backs or place bubble suds on each other’s shoulders. Physical relationships almost always lead to emotional connections.

Give Encouragement to Your Spouse.

You should never fail to encourage your spouse in all of his or her endeavors. If your partner aims to get promoted in his or her job, by all means, cheer him all the way. If he stumbles and falls, then you should be the first one to lift his head up and say that everything will be okay.

You can also give tokens of appreciation to your spouse for every success that she achieves. It is not the monetary value of the gift that matters; it is the thought of acknowledging the effort that your spouse put forth.

Enjoy Games Together.

Even you are already married, that should not stop you from being kids once again and enjoying the things that you like. You can create silly and romantic games to make your life more interesting and fun. Laughing and enjoying games senselessly are good to a relationship.

What are the games that you can play? You can play board games like Romantic Scrabble and Sink the Fleet, or card games like poker and blackjack. You can even make up your own games to make things more fascinating.

Don’t Forget to Say “I Love You.”

If you are a person who is not very fond of saying, “I love you” to his spouse, then you need to change this behavior. You should be saying these words over and over again, from the moment you say “I do” until you reach old age.

For some, words are just words. But “I love you” are the three simplest words that mean so much to a person in a marriage. You can drop the defensive guards of your spouse by just saying these words. They can make someone cry, make some swoon, and even uplift the spirits of your spouse.

Spend Quality Time Together.

Make sure that you are not just spending time together, but spending “quality” time. What does quality mean? It means that you are together and you are intimately getting to know each other more, and your emotions are also connected.

You have two types of spending quality time with your spouse. One is shoulder-to-shoulder and the other is face-to-face.

What is shoulder-to-shoulder time? It is being with your spouse to do what he or she loves. For men, spending shoulder-to-shoulder time means being with them during a football game, biking, hiking, or even just watching their favorite TV show.

For women, shoulder-to-shoulder time means being with them to watch rom-coms, do crafts, shop for a particular pair of shoes or a dress, or just lie on the ground and look at the stars. Shoulder-to-shoulder means doing the activities that your spouse likes so that you can understand him or her better.

Face-to-face time specifically means looking and talking to each other. If one or both of you are looking for face-to-face time, you cannot choose activities that will keep your senses busy. Instead, you will need to choose a date wherein you can pay full attention to your partner.

A dinner date is an example of a face-to-face quality time. Setting up a picnic at the park where you can just sit down and talk is also a great idea.

Be Honest with Your Spouse.

Another tip to improve our relationship is to be truthful about your past experiences. You do not have to share all the details of your life right in an instant, but you can pick information to share if you know your relationship will gain an advantage if your spouse finds out about it.

If you still currently work with an ex-girlfriend, your spouse will definitely need to know about this fact. Illnesses are also details that you should share with your partner. By telling some truths to your spouse, the maturity of your relationship will grow.

Learn to Compromise.

You will not always get what you want. Neither will your spouse. If you want to improve your relationship, you should start learning to compromise.

No formula exists to tell you when to give in and when to push for what you want. The only way to solve this is by communicating to each other what you both want. If your spouse agrees to what you desire, then all is well. But if your partner disagrees with you, then you should learn to find a middle ground.

Do Not Yell.

No arguments will be settled if one or both of you yell. Passionate discussions must be addressed with rational minds as much as possible. If you start yelling, then your spouse also stops thinking sensibly and goes on the defensive.

You will not resolve anything if your fights become shouting matches. If you come to a point that you are about to burst, it would be better to ask your partner for a time out, then go back when you are ready to talk again.

Ask for Tips from Seasoned Couples Whom You Look Up to.

Another way to improve your relationship as husband and wife is by going to older couples who have faced a lot of problems and are still able to keep their marriage intact. These are the couples that you look up to.

These couples can be your parents, your grandparents, or even a family friend. Learn about how they deal with their issues and see if you can duplicate what they did. Ask their secret to lasting happiness in their relationship.

You should also ask them if they are willing to be mentors for your marriage. By being accountable to them, you are sure to improve your relationship as a married couple.

Mike Zhang

Founder of FamilyLifeShare